The reason I’m posting this is to see if anyone else has been in this situation before or if you can understand how I feel. I’m looking for feedback on my attitude about this situation – good and bad:
I met my boyfriend about three months ago. We were drawn to each other immediately and bonded from the start. We are both in our mid-30s and he is a dj at a local pub. I am a paralegal. As I got to know him better, I realized that he is trying to rebuild his life after a pretty rough past couple of years – which involved trouble with drugs and with the law. He is a changed man now (that’s obvious – no doubt about it), but starting over is tough business, especially given that his whole family is into the drug scene as well and aren’t exactly the greatest role models. He moved from another town back home to live with his mom while he straightened his life out but now she is rethinking having him there and has actually asked him to leave. (That’s a story in itself – his mom abandoned him when he was a baby and he just met her in his early 20s. She’s not exactly the ‘motherly’ type). Needless to say, this guy has had it VERY rough. He had an abusive childhood (very abusive) and now has OCD and borderline personality disorder, which are both very extreme and affect his ability to get a structured job. Oh, and he also has no car or drivers license.
I know that it sounds like I should have hit the door running from the get-go, but there is just more to this man than his circumstances. He wants help and has made the first step by getting into therapy and getting medications for his conditions. However, ‘getting better’ is going to be a long, drawn-out process and I’m starting to doubt myself on whether or not I have the patience to handle all of this. I have let him stay at my house until he figures out something else and I am driving him to his appointments and to work. Am I horrible for getting fed up with this? Or should I just do my part in helping someone who needs it and stop whining about it? He is very good to me – VERY good. Extremely sensitive to my needs and very helpful around my house. He understands all that I’m doing for him and is appreciative. He’s never had anyone help before; like I mentioned, his home life is extremely rough.
Any thoughts on this situation would be helpful. Or if you have a similar experience, I’d love to hear it. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
