Open Question: my man doesn’t seem attracted to me?

My man and I have been together for almost 5 years. He’s always been the “emotionally absent” kind of man to some extent but never this much. We’ve had a children together and have another on the way. We’ve planned on getting married and he bought me a ring to seal the deal a year ago, now we’re actually starting to talk about the wedding. As much as he says he loves me and wants to be with me here’s my predicaments;
He doesn’t pay any physical or emotional attention to me unless I initiate it, if I want a kiss, I kiss him first, if I want a hug, I hug him first and so on.
If I want a conversation other than his work talk, I have to change the subject and then most of the time it’s not a conversation it’s him not talking while I do because he’s off in la la land somewhere.
If I want any kind of real interaction with this man I’ve been with I have to speak up and ask for it, as if I’m second rate to him. I’ve spoken up and let him know I want sex and he brushes me off, won’t go for the goal.
He chocks it up to his business pre occupying his brain and he has no room for anything else.
I tell him that’s not fair because the kids and myself would like him around more, physically AND emotionally.
He runs his own business but tells me he doesn’t have the time to come home and do family dinners or much of anything that has to do with spending time with us. Then when he does come home he’s on the phone literally ALL day when he’s with us, talking or texting or ALL night, into the wee hours of the night. I ask him to at least cut the phone stuff down to 8 or 9 pm so I can spend time with him but he tells me that the others are going to make that money if he isn’t the one on the phone. We’ve actually fought about the phone issue a lot until I just gave up because what I’m saying doesn’t seem to make any sense to him.
He will come home at night, 7, 8 or later, yack about his business, talk on the phone ask me if I want to watch a movie, If I say yes, (because that’s the only time I get with him) he promptly falls asleep. Then he gets up the next day, 8 or 9 am, takes a shower and leaves. When he’s gone during the day I’ll text him hello, or call. Most times he doesn’t answer for a while if at all, I usually have to get hot under the collar before he realizes I would like him to say hello during the day.
Then this is what really hurts me about him, no interaction between us at all pretty much and we were at a convention in Vegas, there was a booth directly across from his and he snaps a picture of this woman in some tight outfit. I went through his phone and found it, when I asked him about it, he denied even taking it, but of course after much deliberation the truth comes out, he DID take it BUT he took it for a friend and was going to send it to him. (Even though he never did)
I am not an un attractive woman, quite the opposite, I would work but he pretty much won’t allow me to, I don’t do anything but take care of the kids and that’s the way he wants it, I talk to my friends but am not allowed any time to myself to get out.
Am I imagining it, or does it seem like this relationship has just plain gotten stale? I’ve talked to him and asked him if we should split up, if this relationship is not what he wants, he tells me “He loves me” and this is what he wants but nothing ever changes. I have no problem leaving and doing what’s healthy for myself and my kids because it seems like we’re a 3rd wheel here yet every time I bring it up he says everything I’m feeling is over reacting, he loves me and doesn’t want us to split up. If that’s the case then what the hell? I have an appointment with a family counselor, to maybe get an un biased opinion or help with this next week, he says he’ll go to that, so let’s hope he does. Any advice otherwise?
He has been coming home at night but it gets later and later, the other night when he was upset he actually told me “I would work until 11 or 12 if you didn’t bitch about me being out so late” He later tried to take that back but I told him that’s non sense, when people are angry they may say things that are hurtful but they also say things that are truthful when they wouldn’t have the nerve otherwise. As far as his phone calls, he owns a “spice” company, legal high stuff so he’s on the phone with “customers” pretty much all the time, with no regards to our family here.