I’m 35 and my cousin is 31. We have always been pretty close, and this has continued into our adult hood.
Part of the reason (not a huge part) that we are so close is that we are both still single, while all our friends and other relatives are happily married. We are both looking for guys, in our own ways (me = keeping my eyes open at work, and out and about, her = internet dating with a view to marriage).
However, now, things are getting really strained. She has always had a LOT of financial support from her parents, who own a plumbing business. She still lives at home and is treated like a princess by her parents, so expects others to treat her as one, too. I have always made my own way, and it’s causing stress. I am also a single mom. (failed marriage)
She gets through guys on the dating site like I get through tissues when I have a cold, yet she will call me at night, when I’m at work, and other times, and talk for hours about the latest disaster, and I ALWAYS listen. Yet when I have a disaster (I’ve only really loved one guy who I was with for 2 years (not my child’s father) and it turned very sour last year) she laughs and tells me to “get over it!”
Tonight being New Year’s eve, she asked me earlier this week to go to a very upmarket party at a hotel with her – tickets costing well over $100, and that’s before food and drinks. I simply can’t afford it so told her I want to stay at home, and be with my son. She replied “LOL – stop being such a fuddy duddy and BORING. I’ll get you out if it kills me!” I replied we could maybe do something quieter, her house or mine? She never replied. That was 3 days ago and I haven’t heard from her since. I sent a generic new year text to everyone earlier and she has not replied. (I sent it to all 3 of her cell phones, so there’s little chance of all of them not working)
I know a large part of the reason she seems to withdraw is that she lets these men, who she sees from these websites, really get to her when they do not call back (not one of them have called her past the 1st date, and that saddens me as well, as it makes her feel awful).
I just do not know how to handle her, and her “princess” ness. I feel like I have no one who listens to ne, yet I am expected to be there for everyone, at the expense of my own feelings and problems.
Any ideas how I can deal with this kind of person? Please, please note I am NOT jealous, as someone said when I asked this earlier. I am happy with my life and have a lot to be thankful for. I just want advice on how to deal with her.
